Fashion-conscious Foodie T-Shirts

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"Beanirrito"

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Spanx Tells Me No

Salad Hat

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

Pizza Shard

Fried Egg

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Pork Pie Hat

Bob's BBQ Aprons: The Spring Collection

'Is it okay to drink red wine in brown shoes?'

"It may very well be America's favorite comfort food, but nobody is gonna buy a grilled cheese poncho."

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

"I'm thinking something in a cheddar."

"The free-range chicken with little shoes by Reebok."

Faddy, fussy and pernickety eating. It's strictly the preserve of those without kids.

"Why, of course I like Kale. It's the color of money."

'Waiter - This salad isn't appropriately dressed!'

Woman dressed as a soup can

"How can we afford to eat at a place where the doggie bags are Gucci?"

Ettore Uzza's Half-A-Loaf

Sushi hats

"I eat here all the time so I can be a regular."

"It's fast-casual."

'I was going to send back this dreadful wine - but then I realized it's the perfect match for your dreadful chicken.'

Bacon, lettuce and tie sandwich.

'Frankly, Bob, I don't think you understand the whole concept of comfort food!'