Farmyard Aficionado Gifts

"On behalf of Farmer Brown, I am proud to present Lucy with her "One Thousand Eggs" certificate: Congratulations!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Cow in love'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Bubble Gum Farms.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Country Bumpkin.

Sheep dog late for work

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'Trickle or Spray!?'

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

"They’re real."

An early space launch attempt.

Okay, dig that one up!

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

Pull the udder one

Cow of BEEF

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Free Range Employees.

'Can he come out and play?'

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

Cow noticing the grass is wet. So he wanders off and performs a fabulous powerslide!

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Police Cow!

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'Shuck me.'

Cow and Milk

The worm that churned!

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

No caption (A mother cow is holding a calf. The baby is sucking on a pacifier shaped like udders).

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.