Farming Humorist Prints

"No, there's nothing wrong with her. Daisy here has been bred only to produce skimmed milk."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

A sure sign of rain

'He always gets that way when I ask him about our retirement plan,'

'I lost them at terminal 5!'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"Making instant butter."

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

A Tongue Stud.

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'