Farmhouse Vibe Seeker T-Shirts

"Not that it makes a difference, but is this Wednesday or Thursday?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"I think he was a celebrity."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"Remember when we had to get along on twenty-one dollars a month!"

Colonial Larrysburg.

"You had me at alternative milk."

Illustration for 'The Notting Hill Mystery'. (woman pulled out of the river).

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

Disco Owls

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

Computer looking rather annoyed at owner whoes hugging his typewriter

Gustave Charpentier

The Rural Bidet...

Robert Johnson

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

"Chocolate-coated rocks! Oh darling, you're spoiling me!"

Mrs. Jarley's waxwork

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

'Would Sir care for a hot towel?'

"Is that when you turn the juke box off?"

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

Happy Hour at Harry's

'Good evening. I am an onscreen announcer, so you must have time-travelled back to 1956.'

"Something's happening. I saw someone drinking a Manhattan today."

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

'That vintage reminded Harlow of his worst year in the market.'