Farmhouse Vibe Seeker T-Shirts

"Not that it makes a difference, but is this Wednesday or Thursday?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"I think he was a celebrity."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

Colonial Larrysburg.

"Remember when we had to get along on twenty-one dollars a month!"

"You had me at alternative milk."

Illustration for 'The Notting Hill Mystery'. (woman pulled out of the river).

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

Welcome to a parallel universe. It's like 50 years ago, man. Coffee costs a quarter, tie-dye is groovy, there is a draft. Lots of differences: Free love, man. Corporations are evil. And some similarities. Joy is a new 8-track player. Shut yer #@$% yapper!

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

Disco Owls

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

Computer looking rather annoyed at owner whoes hugging his typewriter

Gustave Charpentier

If this van's a rockin'...

Robert Johnson

The Rural Bidet...

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

"Chocolate-coated rocks! Oh darling, you're spoiling me!"

'Old blue-screen's back!'

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

Mrs. Jarley's waxwork

'Would Sir care for a hot towel?'

"Is that when you turn the juke box off?"

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'Good evening. I am an onscreen announcer, so you must have time-travelled back to 1956.'

'That vintage reminded Harlow of his worst year in the market.'

"Something's happening. I saw someone drinking a Manhattan today."

Happy Hour at Harry's

Fruits and vegetables