Farmer Wife Gifts

My mother was the one that pushed me into this business.

Shepherd and eurydice

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

Butterfly Woman

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Larry's used art

Prize vegetables.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Demure lady with gloves

International Women's Day

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"We've made great progress!"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Talk nerdy to me."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Lady of the Cake.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'