Farm Machinery Collector T-Shirts

'Sorry - that's the only piece of equipment we don't stand behind.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'It seats two comfortably.'

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

Mummy?!

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'Not another copycat accident?!?! That bloody nursery rhyme's got a lot to answer for.'

"It's lost all meaning in the steroid era."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

"I like wine gadgets more than I like the wine!"

As you like it - One way of catching fish

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

Free Range Cows.

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

Jazz Bagpipes

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.