Farm Machinery Collector T-Shirts

'Sorry - that's the only piece of equipment we don't stand behind.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

Milking the Cow.

'It seats two comfortably.'

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Mummy?!

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"I like wine gadgets more than I like the wine!"

As you like it - One way of catching fish

Hague Convention Defied! Failure of the new Tommy-Scalder.

'Not another copycat accident?!?! That bloody nursery rhyme's got a lot to answer for.'

Free Range Cows.

"It's lost all meaning in the steroid era."

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

"If, in the future, you're unclear about what I need you to gather when I say nuts ..."

Jazz Bagpipes

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2