Farce Aficionado Gifts

'Season of Farce'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"What's a patent?"

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

Love at First Sight

"Cat box"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Easter Island legs

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

The Fourth Little Pig

"That's not how I sat on you."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

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