Fantasy Football Enthusiast Pillows

'At first, fantasy football was a harmless hobby. Then i started to believe I really owned a tam and Eli Manning really was my quarterback....'

Fantasy Football League training Camp.

'Dad, did the stork bring me or did you get me in fantasy draft?'

"We're updating stats for our fantasy football league."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Punt Cake

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Football

Raheem Sterling

Bears

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Kenny Dalglish

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'