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The truth about Goldilocks.

'Are you made of sugar?'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

He looks so natural lying there...

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Invisible clothes

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

Hansel and Gretal

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

'I've no time for these foragers - they come into the area and snap up all the best houses...'

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

"Relax, I'll go back and find it."

Going Down?

"Do I have to go out again!?"

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

Mermaids in love

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'Well this is awkward.'

Giant to librarian: 'Excuse me, do you have a large print version?'

I'm ridiculously small. My nose is huge. I have ears like a jackass... Manic depressive with low elf esteem.

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to defend their pail of water."

Spaceship doubling as a cauldron.

'Who's that painted lady?'