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"This is our adoptive son. We found him in the cellar where he was raised by spiders."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Pastries and Candy

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

Fishing Boat Derby

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges.

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

"You might want to get that fly off your face."

"Please disregard the previous message - it was inadvertently sent to everyone on our list."

Let's all be fairies.

Red riding hood giving the wolf a complex

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

Babe in the woods!

Business plan.

'It just says strange things happened after she ate the wafers. It doesn't mention their street value.'

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

"Don't we like the Brothers Grimm anymore?"

"This must be where the tooth fairy goes to window shop!"

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"You're not the sleeping beauty I fell in love with."

Aladdin's Cave of Wonder

"All the king's horses and all the king's men have voted for scrambled, sah!"

"I conjured you up a dress, shoes, a corsage, and a limo—I'm not ponying up for an afterparty too."

'That's right, the Princess kissed me by mistake: She didn't know the difference between a frog and a toad...'

Brothers Grimm

Circus trousers

"I remember when this was all forest..."

Aesop's Fables: The Fox and the Crow

The Cosmology of Timmy