Fans Of Playful Language Gifts

'Toss the caper.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

Artichoking victim

"I'm sorry, Doctor, when you said benign growth, I thought you were referring to my husband."

Heart To Heart

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

"The doctor will she you now."

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

"Not only have my eyes glazed over – they have turned completely into cinnamon rolls."

"I told you not to order the Zamboni."

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

Blake's Sealant.

'And when they were only half the way up they were neither up nor down!'

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

Exclamation road sign says 'OMG'

"You asked if I could type blood."

The army surplus blanket is great! I never thought you'd be engaged in a government cover-up.

Customer Relationship Management at Surf City Hospital

"Why do I have to be a wolf in sheep's clothing? Why can't I just be wolf who happens to identify as a sheep?"

'Remember son...when life throws you a lemon, make lemonade.'

'Whenever I walk in a room,everyone ignores me.'

Nah, the tooth fairy only visits kids - my name's Ginger Vitis.

Bullroom Dancing.

'Relax...I heard our opponents today are huge pussies.'

"It's nothing serious...just a flooded engine."

Hall monitor lizard: 'Hey! No running!'

'I think I have a cracked head.' - 'And what's wrong with the car?'

'I only promised to marry him because he said he was rich - Then I found out that was just his name!'

"I'll bring your salad right away, but your snails will of course take longer."

"Wanna go for a ride on the trouser snake?"