Fans Of Playful Language Gifts

'Toss the caper.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

"The doctor will she you now."

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

Heart To Heart

Artichoking victim

"...We said a natural birth, not a naturist birth!"

"Not only have my eyes glazed over – they have turned completely into cinnamon rolls."

"I told you not to order the Zamboni."

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

Blake's Sealant.

"We hooked up on one of those 'buoy meets girl' sites."

'And when they were only half the way up they were neither up nor down!'

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

Exclamation road sign says 'OMG'

"You asked if I could type blood."

Customer Relationship Management at Surf City Hospital

'Remember son...when life throws you a lemon, make lemonade.'

Bullroom Dancing.

'Relax...I heard our opponents today are huge pussies.'

'I only promised to marry him because he said he was rich - Then I found out that was just his name!'

The Latest in Airbags

'I think I have a cracked head.' - 'And what's wrong with the car?'

"I'll bring your salad right away, but your snails will of course take longer."

"Wanna go for a ride on the trouser snake?"

'Really? - The Agent Orange?'