Fans Of Frontier History Humor Pillows

"Lately, I feel the whispering pines are whispering about me."

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

Deadwood 25 miles

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."

"Go on. Throw the stick."

"You're gettin' too big for your dang britches."

What brings you to Canada? None of your beeswax. Border. Business, pleasure, asylum or melodrama? Huh? Our newest category. Donald Trump eats kittens! Ashton Kutcher. Melodrama, next!

Mummy reading a book in his sarcophagus.

"As I recall from the last session, you were born in Tennessee and raised in the woods, so you knew every tree. Then something happened when you were only three. What was that?"

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

Gunfight at the O.K. Coral

'They're using honey to draw us out. Fortunately, they underestimate our willpower.'

"It's closing time and four people are unaccounted for. Start looking."

'George, I'd like you to meet Mademoiselle Fifi LaTour from Paris -- she inspired me to invent bifocals!'

"Dinosaur tipping"? Are you crazy?!

'I'm the one who has to find them, so I embedded the locator chip in their wool!'

Queen Victoria having a barbecue using BBQ sauce

"Yeah, yeah. Everybody's got palms and opposable thumbs and the ass only has hooves... Get over yourselves, people!"

'This can't be Pearl Harbor... Let me see that chart!'

Despite the abundance of giant corks on the frontier, zero emission vehicles never caught on in the Old West.

'Don't worry, our security system is impeccable.'

"This year's all about fur on the inside."

Lunch money? What's lunch money?

Uses of a Dead Cat: Anti-aircraft Defences.

'Did you know there is a whole website dedicated to cats that look like you?'

'Well, like it or not, we're all going on the Atkins Diet.'

As they say, when in Rome, eat it.

"He just discovered his reflection."

'We're modern day pirates, but we don't look like modern day pirates.'

Costermonger addresses gentleman

Kelly's Kountry Kitchen: 'You call this Korned Beef & Kabbage!?'

"I don't recognize the first two fellers, but I'm pretty sure the one on the right is the Hop-A-Long Kid."

28,000 BC. Dr. Og discovers you can't get blood from a stone.