Fans Of Frontier History Humor Gifts

"Lately, I feel the whispering pines are whispering about me."

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

Deadwood 25 miles

"It just don't feel right, drinking him like that."

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."

Mummy reading a book in his sarcophagus.

"Go on. Throw the stick."

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

"As I recall from the last session, you were born in Tennessee and raised in the woods, so you knew every tree. Then something happened when you were only three. What was that?"

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

Gunfight at the O.K. Coral

'They're using honey to draw us out. Fortunately, they underestimate our willpower.'

'I'm the one who has to find them, so I embedded the locator chip in their wool!'

'George, I'd like you to meet Mademoiselle Fifi LaTour from Paris -- she inspired me to invent bifocals!'

Queen Victoria having a barbecue using BBQ sauce

Despite the abundance of giant corks on the frontier, zero emission vehicles never caught on in the Old West.

'This can't be Pearl Harbor... Let me see that chart!'

'Don't worry, our security system is impeccable.'

"This year's all about fur on the inside."

Lunch money? What's lunch money?

'We're modern day pirates, but we don't look like modern day pirates.'

As they say, when in Rome, eat it.

'Well, like it or not, we're all going on the Atkins Diet.'

"He just discovered his reflection."

Uses of a Dead Cat: Anti-aircraft Defences.

Costermonger addresses gentleman

Kelly's Kountry Kitchen: 'You call this Korned Beef & Kabbage!?'

"I don't recognize the first two fellers, but I'm pretty sure the one on the right is the Hop-A-Long Kid."

28,000 BC. Dr. Og discovers you can't get blood from a stone.

'I see the problem - second-hand smoke.'