Fanatic Of Funny Mishaps Pillows

"You get a great view of the ball park from here."

'Fine. And you?'

'Well sure, YOU'VE got brakes on FOUR wheels!'

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

"Why is it that the laws of inevitability always seem higher on ladies day?"

"Please—no technology questions!"

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

'Holy shit!'

Poodle gets stuck in the elevator.

Two hunters and a near miss

"Please excuse our new employee, sir--he used to work in the circus."

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'

"Last week, my husband waded into the cords behind our TV to untangle them, and I haven't seen him since."

Hound dog sniffing and pointing at bunny slippers.

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

"So you spilled your soda, big deal!"

Frog gets the Fly. Ouch

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."

Vacuum-salesman clown gets door slammed on his foot.

'THAT'S your ringtone - I'd like you to take me home now,'

Golf Cart Punctures

'Gesundheit, dummy!'

Man shot in the legs

Slapstick

'Who would ever believe this started with a paper cut you kept picking at...'

"It's another Sicilian message. It means 'Please disregard the previous Sicilian message - it was inadvertently sent to everyone on our list."

'I hope you haven't been picking at it.'

This end up - You idiot.