Fan Of Quirky Contrasts Gifts

Zorro does algebra.

The Food Chain

Before/After

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

"Nice haircut."

"I like that everything is mismatched. I just think it could be mismatched better."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, I wasn't kicked out! We had creative differences, that's all!"

Snowman dreaming of surfing.

"Get your knockoff pretzels."

Having heard good things about it, Carlos decides to try the Phlegmish School of painting.

"And now, moving along to our right, we have Hilda Schumacher, of Zelton Falls, Pennsylvania. Ms. Schumacher has been painting clowns on velvet for over fifteen years, and we find her work a fine example of this genre."

'One businessman's lunch and one secretary's salad.'

'Hmmmm! Third time he's been back he MUST be keen.'

"I'm alright, it's my hair...I need more hairspray."

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

Mummy with a mobile.

Big dog little man.

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Prisoner keeping a calendar on his laptop.

The Grim Reaper's pets.

Worker is confused at the Paradox Parcel Company.

'Have you read about the millionaire who dresses like a hobo and gives money to those who are kind to him?'

'Nice tattoo, Dave.'

Snail Air Balloon

The Artists Fall-Back Career 'It's an easy gig to get once you stop waxing.'

Fish who dropped out of the school

'That dog won't hunt.' Bird dog in a pink tutu.

Workers in Hazmat suits make sweets

Role Reversal

'Oh... hell!' (fish bowl)

This is Umpopa, a witch doctor - he says he knows how to shrink hemorrhoids.

Making the best of it

'I don't understand it Sid... where did we go wrong?!'