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'It was a completely successful textbook surgery. Unfortunately we operated on the wrong person.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

Jester Surgeon

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

'Is it urgent?'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

'Brain surgery, right?'

'Say, please.'

Love Tap

'First the good news - we've all got to go sometime...'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

'Who was that masked man? I never got the chance to thank him!'

'Damn it! I suppose this means another malpractice suit!'

Operation/Grim Reaper

'Oh, don't mind them, We're shooting a reality-based TV series,'

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."