Fan Of Dark Comedy Pillows

"Wanna make out?": What would later be known as Bob's remarkable near-death experience.

Mr Whippy whipping his customers.

"I hate being watched while I work."

"You want to go already? It's not closing time yet, Gurkenman! I'll take that out of your pay!"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"The Eggsorcist"

"I thought you wanted me to change."

The practical psychopath

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

"I'm the bad guy..."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Optimist

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.