Family With Teens Pillows

'Did you feel that??'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

"I wish school was more like TV."

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

The swamp of adolescence

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

The surrendered mom

A dog is for life, not just for Covid.

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

Doggy $100 and don't ask again.

Abandon all hope ye who enter here,

"The new computer system has arrived, and Benny here is going to help us jump the technical hurdles."

'He happened to swallow Junior's helium balloon!'

"Maybe we should send her to finishing school!"

Dog with a dummy.

Spot Check

"He was in my price range, 'Free to a good home'."

'We are looking for a bigger place to accommodate our extended family.'

"Megan is at that age where she's embarrassed to be seen shopping with her mother."

"Dad, let me explain it in a way that you can understand: Followers and Likes on my social media are like stocks on my emotional Wall Street."

Changes at Home

'Are you going to be long in there? ...And have you seen my electric guitar?'

Dice Headphones

"Can I can go to a party?"

Kids Shifted Ther Addiction From Drugs to Smartphones

"It's about time we had a little talk about your attitude, young man!"

"Don't feel bad Rex: desperate measures for desperate times! That new trumpet of Young Master had to disappear..."

"Guys, if you're taking your baby in the living room, please use a coaster."

Assisted living on West 84th Street