Family Tree Aficionado T-Shirts

"This is your great, great uncle, twice removed, on your mother's side before your great, great aunt divorced him to marry your second great, great uncle."

Several generations live together in Cuba

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Family DNA

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

"Ma didn't want to leave out anyone."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

The best time capsules are our children.

'One of my forebears.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"

"That is why you never forget your roots."

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

"That's two days after you were born."

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

"Dad, are you absolutely sure I'm not adopted?"

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart