Ancestry Aficionado T-Shirts

'I'm only interested in locating wealthy relatives.'

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

Billy listened spell-bound as his grandfather told him magical tales about the adventures of his ancestors.

"So being flakey is obviously something I've inherited."

"The results of our genetic testing have come in, and it appears you may share some DNA with the people of – get this – Easter Island."

Who's your daddy?, INC. It

It's my family in the larger sense.

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

Genealogy Service. Let's just say that the loss of your family tree wouldn't cause the Sierra Club to lose any sleep.

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

'My mother was a race horse. My father was a stablehand who got five years for sodomy.'

'He's so lazy, he only traced his family tree back as far as himself!'

'One of my forebears.'

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

Second hand furniture.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

Several generations live together in Cuba

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

The Gettysburg Address in process.

Family DNA

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"I think it was an election year."

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

Antiques

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."