Family Time Escapist Gifts

Worker to Boss: "I'd like to work flexible hours to avoid my children."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

I like the Jets...I guess

"They grow up so fast."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

"She's been so creative lately."

Haircuts

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

'She's just great with the children.'

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Swinging

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

Office pics on dinner table.

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

Home Sweet Home

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

'The girls must be feeling better...'