Family Role Player Gifts

Uncle of the Groom

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

Baby, baby maker

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

"...And to my favorite 'Mr. Down On His Luck' relative, I leave all my spare change."

John Wayne

"Here at this firm, we pride ourselves on the family atmosphere we've created. As such, I'd like to welcome you abroad as my long lost love child, Inga."

"You should wear your glasses, Sven."

Boy spinning basketball on finger next to dog spinning ball on wagging tail.

'Eat up son, or you won't grow to be big and fat, like your father.'

"He'll come to eat when he can interrupt dinner. He's playing telemarketer."

'Apparently, they've gone rogue, Al. They've stopped playing roles and are speaking for themselves, and what we have here are two very disturbed bruins.'

'Would you like to try our new Family-Style meal deal? While you eat I yell at you to be more like your brother then criticize what you're wearing before saying how much you've disappointed me and your father.'

"Your father forgives the thirty attemps you've made on his life, Oedipus. How does that make you feel?"

"I only grown them because her mother's allergic to them."

"Got things worked out with that new son in law yet?"

All new holiday season hard wear.

"I'm having an identity crisis. I can't keep track of whether I'm Nana, Mimi, or Grandma Wolcott."

'Because you're the guy.'

"Don't even think of going over my head Brother James!"

"Philip has questioned my stewardship."

"Dad, not now!"

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

'Ocean view, or would you prefer to watch them fight over the will?'

"I feel guilty because I introduced my Dad to video games and now he's addicted to them!"

'Where's the chapter on 'Because I said so'?'

"Mother sends her disregards."

Still Life with Issues

How do you feel about pink squirrels? I'm open to any kind of roleplaying! Cocktail menu.

'Billy called me a snob. Did I do right saying I'd see him in court?'

"When did our kids become mobsters?"