Family Prioritizers Gifts

"You said you needed to see more of your family and we listened. You can Skype with them for 2 minutes instead of taking a bathroom break."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

The family picnic is at 5. Would you please boil the eggs, Twig? And Teddy? Go clean out the cooler! Oh! Grab the badminton set, too. Stop. Your little cousins will need entertaining! Leave it to mom � To take the independence out of Independence Day.

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Monday around 9PM.

"I can't party like I used to, I've got enough Tupperware"

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

Work Life Balance.

Summer Outing Planning

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

Excess Baggage: The younger the traveler, the greater the amount of luggage required.

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

'He's trying to see more of his family.'

'He's allergic to talc! You'll have to give up the baby!'

"We merged to save through volume buying."

'Except...That.'

Proud Mum.

"It's a small fridge, honey. Not everything is going to make the cut."

Monk & Mandi: "Mom, this top is too tight!"

'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'

"Remain calm and list your goals in order of priority."

"I've spent so much time with my family that I've started to lose sight of what really matters."

"Because we're a family, that's why. You set the table I dial the phone, and your father orders the chinese food."

'Text your father and tell him I'm not talking to him!'

'There was an old lady who had so many children she didn't know what to do, especially about college tuition.'

'Better bring the pot back over here, Mom - Dad's still down a few cups.'

"I told them I was sick of working all hours...and that I intended to stick to my hours and get home to give my son a bath and bedtime book....unfortunately he'd turned into a 26 year old commodities broker while I was in meetings!"