Family Priorities Gifts

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

Family traits.

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

Man painting MOM on boat

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

Work Life Balance.

"... and finally, to my children I leave the four mosquitos and the horsefly in the top left corner."

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

'He's trying to see more of his family.'

"And if that day comes, sweetie, just make sure your wedding album is inclusive-looking."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'Except...That.'

Proud Mum.

"I've spent so much time with my family that I've started to lose sight of what really matters."

'That's it? Listen to my mom?'

'Text your father and tell him I'm not talking to him!'

Old School Call Forwarding

"Let me tell you what it's like to be seven in this city."

"Be there in a sec, darling. I just want to touch base with Tiffany."

"I told them I was sick of working all hours...and that I intended to stick to my hours and get home to give my son a bath and bedtime book....unfortunately he'd turned into a 26 year old commodities broker while I was in meetings!"

'It's our 10 year plan.'

'I'm married with five children.' - 'Sorry, we're looking for someone with sound judgement.'

'Sure raising my allowance is great, daddy but what I really want is power of attorney!!

"You call yourself a pest removal expert? Well, my son is still living in my basement."