Family Planning Consultant Gifts

"Keep my fingers crossed! Is that it?"

Safe sex.

A man on the street selling birth control.

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"I'm getting so old I don't remember where I buried my bone..."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

Grounded

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

New arrival

"We balanced our budget this month!"

The Tunnel Of Love

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

Cupid and the Stork waiting to ambush a couple.

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

Preventive medicine.

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'