Family Physician Gifts

'There's nothing wrong with you, but I think everyone your age should be on at least one medication.'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"Before I came I googled your name....did you hold up a convenience store in 2003?"

"I've been feeling lightheaded!"

"Are you ready to see the Johnson child now, Doctor?"

For sake of patient Doctor Jones tries to temper his personal dislike of mimes.

"Apparently, it's no more loaves of bread, no more jugs of wine... just thou!"

RIP Dr. Tom Kent: In my absence contact Dr. G. Hall

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Physician tending a mummy.

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'