Family Meeting Organizer Pillows

"Nobody 'heads up' this family - we work democratically."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

Christmas Tree

"Hi-yah!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

celebrating a birth.

"Truth is relative at these reunions. It depends on which relative you talk to."