Family Meeting Pillows

"Although the estate will be distributed equally, your father wanted you all to know that Keith was his favorite, followed by..."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Tartine

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Zoo.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Christmas Tree

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Hi-yah!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Ours is not a creative clan."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"