Family Life Philosopher Pillows

"The best advice is to never give up. But if you're going to, better sooner than later."

'If they didn't have any parents, who did they blame all their hang-ups on?'

"Too bad teenagers don't have a chrysalis stage."

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"Yea, mom, knows everything...she's momnipotent."

"I did it for the money."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"You're welcome."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Aging Support Group

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

"In the future, son, everyone will be an attorney for fifteen minutes."

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'