Family Life Joker Pillows

'Do you know what's cool about snakes? Fangs obviously. But they also shed their skin as they grow! How cool would that be?'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

'Mom says she has a souffl

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

Decorating with Children

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

See, Bill? They DID remember us this Valentine's Day!

'I swear I've never had any plastic surgery, I'm naturally this ugly...Heck, my whole family is!'

'It turned out great except for Fido!'