Family Life Documentarian Pillows

'More pictures of your kid? What, still trying to find its good side?'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"It's his emotional support animal."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"The couch hates me Jane!"

Police film evidence

Crocodile

Kirsten Johnson

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

Michael Moore creates a UK equivalent of Fahrenheit 9/11

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"You're good mum. But, Billy's mum is a better cook than you. She only knows how to make chocolate cake."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

'I still say these shots need more action.'

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"He followed me home...finally!"

'Hey Holly, Watch! Biscuit can catch a ginger snap in mid-air!!'

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

Michael Moore

'Hold it - someone's filming this without permission!'

'Coming up next...more of man's inhumanity to man...in hi-def.'

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

Ernie is a documentary filmmaker who tells stories of folks in their professional lives -- I think he should wonk on his film titles more. One film looked at the surprisingly competitive cutthroat world of the dry cleaning business. "The Hanger Games." In another, we see astronomers traveling to remote locations to escape light pollution. "The Dark Night." Ernie showed us the bond among young butchers in an increasingly vegan world. "Stand by Meat"! And he told us the story of a man who i

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

"I told you this would happen once you let her sleep on the bed."

"Our little girl has blossomed into quite the little complainer."

'Because it's there.' ... 'Because he may fall.'