Family Humor Legacy Pillows

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Suffering from Cooties?

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

Dad Trophies

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"How many times have I told you kids to hang your coats in the closet?"

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"