Family Growth Enthusiasts Pillows

'The novelty's sort of worn off with the first one so we thought it was time to have another.'

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

The No No No's

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

I love my family!

Grounded

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Mother's Love

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

It's a Boy

"Use your inside scream."

"I'm so good at this!"

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

'They're a very successful family.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

A father of three

Family sitting on sofa.

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I read the audio book."

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."