Large Family Life Enthusiast Pillows

Man to children: 'My boss is only paying me enough to support a family of three, so some of you are gonna have to go.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

celebrating a birth.

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

I love my family!

Grounded

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

It's a Boy

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

"I'm so good at this!"

Mother's Love

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Use your inside scream."

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

'I'm concerned that the children may be playing too rough.'

'They're a very successful family.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

Family sitting on sofa.