Family Finance Negotiator Gifts

"Dad, due to your policy of not raising our allowances, we've voted to recall your mug."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

Little Investment on the Praire

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

You need to stay home and study. Mom! It's an educational opportunity

'Children are all right, Carson, except they're so damned unprofitable.'

"We want to make sure that your wish for us to give you grandchildren has nothing to do with your concerns about future vacancies at your chicken processing plant."

"Yeah, you're the CFO of a global multinational, but to me you'll always be the First National Bank of Dad."

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'It's our 10 year plan.'

'We don't have the money for everyone to go, and, well, our luggage has never been to the Bahamas before...'

"Don't take that tone with me! I was simply asking where you plan on spending all this money!"

'Not a good time to ask for more allowance. They're discussing the national debt.'

"Come on dad, there's no need to go all 'Successiony' on me."

'That's Burt. Some developer made him an offer for his park bench he couldn't refuse.'

"Oh no - another mouth to feed!"

'This search fee seems very high.'

'Three of my multiple personalities are prepared to pay your outrageous bill. However, my forth, psychopathic personality is getting really angry about it!'

Bank of Mum and Dad.

Last week revisited. Uncle Mort, want to come over to my place for Thanksgiving? Can't. Sadie and I are having it at her place. How nice of you. What? I'd love to. What can I bring? Beautifully played, no? She'll kill me. I'd love to. How nice.

Surface Tension

"His ingrowing solicitor was playing up again."

'She won't budge on the allowance, but she did present me an 800 page handbook detailing the perks.'