Family Feud Fans Pillows

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

The heartwarming pilot episode of "Separated Socks Reunions".

'We're identical twins, but I'm luckier than he is!'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Freak Family.

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

"Mom, Dad - I'm adopted, aren't I?"

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

Miami: Home of the Miami Relatives

'It's just one night of the week you can't go out with your friends! It's not the end of the world!'

'...My tree! - No my tree!!'

No date for the prom, green girl? If you ever grow up, nerd boy

Restoration of mutual confidence between Mr. and Mrs. Micawber

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."

BIG BUSINESS: "He's going places in this company - his father owns it!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Well, I'm sorry. But your mother criticized my chicken casserole one too many times.'

"He just said his first cheap, throw-away comment"

"Excluding our little granddaughter who calls me 'horrible old smellypops!'"

Bad Heir Day

'I don't have to leave the nest! I can stay on your health insurance until I'm 26!'

"Tom..Tom, you promised not to flame my parents..."

'Your second cousin won a Nobel Prize in physics, and you don't know how gravity works?'

'Don't blame me for suing you, Mom and dad. You're the ones who wanted me to be a lawyer.'

"This is my son Sam, the doctor; my son Winston, the lawyer; and my son Alden, the lawnblower."

"Childhood nicknames and pinched cheeks...I knew there was a reason I didn't like family gatherings."