Family Feud Fans Pillows

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'We're identical twins, but I'm luckier than he is!'

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Freak Family.

"Mom, Dad - I'm adopted, aren't I?"

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

Miami: Home of the Miami Relatives

'...My tree! - No my tree!!'

Restoration of mutual confidence between Mr. and Mrs. Micawber

"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."

BIG BUSINESS: "He's going places in this company - his father owns it!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

"He just said his first cheap, throw-away comment"

"Excluding our little granddaughter who calls me 'horrible old smellypops!'"

Bad Heir Day

'I don't have to leave the nest! I can stay on your health insurance until I'm 26!'

Convict returning home - "Mom, dad's home from his top secret mission overseas." (Colour)

'Don't blame me for suing you, Mom and dad. You're the ones who wanted me to be a lawyer.'

'Your second cousin won a Nobel Prize in physics, and you don't know how gravity works?'

"Childhood nicknames and pinched cheeks...I knew there was a reason I didn't like family gatherings."

"This is my son Sam, the doctor; my son Winston, the lawyer; and my son Alden, the lawnblower."

"We go to Stockholm, we accept our, prize, and then I never want to see your ugly mug again!"