Family Crowd Manager Pillows

'Goodbye Granny, see you at Easter...'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

"She just asked me if she could have a few friends in to watch the International Horse Show."

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'It wasn't premeditated.

The sofa freshly made up...

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'It's OK to take your work home with you. It's not OK to bring your home to work with you.'

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

"Being a mum is a full-time job."

Justice for a heckler.

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

"I managed a house with four kids, three dogs, and twelve plants. How's that for management experience?"

Why children, apples and honey should not be left unsupervised.

'Don't track mud in the house! 'IT'S NOT MUD! IT'S DOG POO!'

Police Log

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

Face Painting.

"Okay, everyone...time to clean up the house. Gracie, what job do you want?"

"Mom is pretty certain I'm on my third guardian angel by now."

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

'Basically, my study challenges the more the merrier theory.'

"Working" from home

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

'I work from home - we have Kick Your Children Out of the House Day.'

Stadium usher of the month.

'Oh my god, I forgot I had children.'

"Impressive brawl skills."