Family Comic Gifts

'Goodbye Granny, see you at Easter...'

'... and, another thing, it's more stodgy than my mother's.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Graph Your Relatives!

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Growth Charts

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"That’s ridiculous! What makes you think you were adopted?"

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

"Hello? Guys? Okay, I've had a long day and I'm very tired, so no pranks this time. I'm serious... guys?!"

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."