Family Chefs T-Shirts

"You didn't have to go to the store for stuffing mix, Mom. I used our leftover Halloween candy."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"You do like octopus?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Hungry child

'Like death by salad.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Party time.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

A man and baby wearing bibs

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'Go on - they're organic!'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"Happy thanksgiving!"

Stay at home food pyramid

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

Thanksgiving 2020

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"Who wants to help Grandma make her famous gingerbread man cookies? You kids get the flour, eggs, and sugar, and I'll get the protoplasm and epithelial tissue."

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'