Family Chaos Enthusiast Pillows

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

Husband wondering why his watch doesn't work

"If he's a little bundle of joy, shouldn't he be laughing?"

"I need to know who started it."

"These are my children; Hurry Up, Come On, and Let's Go."

Putting bubble gum in her hair was bad enough...but your drone?

"Now, who used this whole box of detergent?"

"When my husband is released from the recovery room, will you tell him that I've gone home?"

'Found her. Keeping her.'

'My summer vacation - or how I drove my parents nuts for ten consecutive weeks!'

'They say that six is the new four.'

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

The Couple who Dote upon their Children

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

"The voice pattern is similar to Dad's."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

The Family Joules: Part 16

Family with pets.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

Two children play with a pedal bin

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'Let's get this party started!'