Family Business Critic Gifts

'Luigi, I'm thinking of getting back into the family business. Regular business is too corrupt!'

"They grow up so fast."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

'In the interest of spending more time with my children, I've put Bobby and Emily in charge of corporate strategy.'

'Don't worry, Dad. I'm going to turn this company around 360 degrees!'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

If business gets any worse I'll have to start laying off relatives.

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"We've doubled our staff in the last six months." (Smith and Smith - baby in playpen behind desk).

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

"Budget Cuts."

"When the going gets tough, the tough get a government handout."

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

"No, Dad. All this belongs to me right now. I acquired it in a hostile takeover."

"Hmmm...impressive CV! Y'know, I have a feeling that you'll go far in this company...."

The COMPANY is always right.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

'Where did we go wrong?'