Fake Plant Enthusiast Gifts

"Don't bother. Everything is artificial."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

Garden seeds - giant varieties

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

"I dread these W.I. meetings

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

'I tried to tell him I didn't think it was a tomato.'

Cactus Man.

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

A Cactus warning His friends to put their branches up while a Human passes by.

'She looks good because it's not natural. It's all plastic.'

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

'Say when.'

'Try to remember what it said on the packet.'

"I see you've laid out your garden."

Bathing Flowers.

Come a little closer my dear feathered friend.

Bookstore. Plants & Fungi. That's cute -- a pop-up book about mushrooms!

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

Attend to wall climbers...clear out exhausted annuals.

"I'm sorry, but your bonsai triffid will have to go."

the spitting cactus...

Woman's flowerpot is a small jungle with a little tribes person.

'It started off as a hobby. Then it became an obsession. Finally, one day she went in there and hasn't been heard from since.'

'I think one of us must be a plant.'

'It appears you have dry scalp.'

Growing seed packets

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."

'Uh, Liz. That plant isn't getting any faker.'