Faithful Technophobe Pillows

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Pensioners and Phones

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

"Digital? We're not even cable ready!"

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

'...one kilobyte of idiot.'

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

"I'm meeting with Thor for drinks. He doesn't zoom.

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

"Some people are reluctant to accept change."

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

"Technology moving too fast."

"Your 'Luddite Fund' is up 20% this year, but its Yelp reviews are very negative."

"I'm old! I thought it was the television!"

'He'll never switch to digital because he doesn't believe in pixels.'