Faithful Flock Member Gifts

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Christian and Born again Christian...

Monk Prompt

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Parachuting bishop.

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

Jesus Christ

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

Airports.

"The buck really stops with him."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

Men's Prayer Group.

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

Interfaith dialogue

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

Decisions a Pope makes