Faith In Tech Gifts

'All the rest can scroll to Leviticus on your Bible software...'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

God's Phone

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Why god isn't listening...

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

Submarine Sees Jesus Walking on Water

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

Jesus Saves

'Does 'Amen' mean 'Send'?'

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

'Click on the icon.'

Guru Needs Tech Support

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

"Could I get it as an ebook?"

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."

'Please enter your sin, followed by the pound sign.'

''Unfriended' sounds so much more gentle than 'excomummunicated' does.'

"Use your finger to scroll down for the next five commandments."

"So, does God always call people to the ministry or can he text too?"

'Dropped calls aren't my problem. My problem are dropped cell phones.'

"For your penance, text me 400 Hail Marys."