Fairytale Friend Gifts

'Snow White and the seven rehab dwarves.'

Shepherd and eurydice

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Here be dragons.

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Well, that one got away."

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

Cygnets from Swan Lake

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Name your sources."

"The mad king ruled by chaos and corruption. He pitted everyone against each other, and they all lived divisively ever after. The end."

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

'Are you a good witch or a bad witch?'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

'See, Mother - I knew those genetically modified beans would come good!'

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

Midnight Basketball

Accountant Bedtime Stories

'Yeah, year, I get the moral of the story, but what are the legal ramifications?'

Fairtale prosecutions.