Fairy Tale Friend Gifts

Through the Looking Glass - Alice Clears the Dinner Table

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

The tooth fairy.

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Odette from Swan Lake

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Sleeping Beauty.

"My God! There goes middle management."

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

Ask A Silly Question.

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

Tooth fairy pays with card

'...And the mama bear's porridge was frozen solid....'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'Of course I want a fairy tale wedding. What did you expect?'