Fainting Couch Aficionado Gifts

"Thanks. I feel much better now."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

Eventual Motion Machine

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"I'll always love you just the way I am."

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

"Comfy?"

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"

"What I don't understand is why people waste their time writing when they might not get published,."

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

'For futher information see the collected works of Sigmund Fredu, Vol 27, pg 23.'

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

Will assuage guilt for money.

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

'Darling! This isn't a property programme at all! It's the view from our living room window..'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

American Idle

'Beautiful day out there, folks. Don't miss it. Complete coverage, coming up next.'

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

"Can you give us a couple hours? We need to pretend we’re trying to find a show we both want to watch."

'After two years of therapy, I have concluded that you are a couch potato.'

'He's leaving his body to science - science fiction!'