Fainting Couch Aficionado Gifts

"Thanks. I feel much better now."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

The Common Sutra.

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

Exercise vs Laxative.

Eventual Motion Machine

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"I'll always love you just the way I am."

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

"Comfy?"

Dog cradles bone, baby cradles blanket, boy cradles teddy bear and father cradles TV remote.

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

"What I don't understand is why people waste their time writing when they might not get published,."

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"

'Darling! This isn't a property programme at all! It's the view from our living room window..'

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

'For futher information see the collected works of Sigmund Fredu, Vol 27, pg 23.'

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

Will assuage guilt for money.

American Idle

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

'Beautiful day out there, folks. Don't miss it. Complete coverage, coming up next.'

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

'After two years of therapy, I have concluded that you are a couch potato.'

"Can you give us a couple hours? We need to pretend we’re trying to find a show we both want to watch."