Fad Diet Detective Gifts

'Dinner is ruined. I brought too many diet's home from the office again.'

"I can guarantee you'll lose £50 as soon as you hand over your credit card."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Critisize your weight.

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

All Natural Nothing

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Diet considerations.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Attack of the 'health' foods

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"