Fad Diet Aficionado Gifts

Dieter bites the hand that feeds her

All Natural Nothing

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

Toilet roll beauty tips.

"So does this Flamingo diet have any side effects?"

"I can guarantee on this diet you'll lose at least 50 pounds a month, until you cancel your standing order!"

"In the morning I eat nothing then I wait 4 hours and eat nothing again."

'Be patriotic. Food prices are rising. Eat less.'

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

"I'm trying to stick to a Paleo diet. Do you think cavemen had wasabi sauce on their sushi?"

'I take it this wasn't quite the outcome you were expecting from your 'spot reduction diet'?'

101 Placenta Recipes

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

"So how did you get on with that all-pineapple diet. . . ?"

"Well you did say you wanted something gluten, sugar, fat, additives and calorie free."

'He's on the cyclops diet. He's always got one eye on the fridge.'

The Sprats

'Take two of these weight loss tablets before every meal. Your stomach won't have room for food.'

"I call it the 'Fasting diet'. Also known as the 'Where's all the food gone?!!' diet."

"I recall losing respect for the 1970s when I got a mood ring and pet rock for my birthday."

"I don't know about you guys, but I've had it up to here with the paleo diet."

The high fibre diet

'It's probably just another one of those 'fad diets'.'